I will come through this Phone and…

big-thumb-phone-copy2

Phone stories from the dark side returns after a long hiatus

After the last post where I posted a picture of the culprit phone hater of NYC I believe he, or she, got scared and went underground. I received many anonymous calls concerning the where abouts of Conan the Phone Destroyer, but they never paned out.

Today I think he was leaving me a message, the message being” I HAVE GIANT THUMBS”! Okay that shit was funny to me especially when you say it in a giant dumb sounding Hulk voice, HAHAHA!

Well back to the phone destroyer, now I could be completely wrong, but the usual route I take to get to the train home just happened to have a phone still on its hook, but with its buttons ripped out. I am completely open to the possibility that it was just a person with abnormally large thumbs attempting to dial 911. I say they were attempting to get help simply because as they walked down the street, to wherever the were going, they realized, “DAMN I got sum big ass thumbs”a nd thought they should get help! You might say why at that moment would they finally realize they have really large thumbs. Look I am just telling you what could of happened within reason, I have no idea why it took them so long.

It is also very possible that a high school kid, speaking to their mother on the phone informing them that they would be returning home after goin’ with their friends to 42 street to take in a peep show, their mother replied “boy don’t make me jump through this phone”. Simultaneously as this happened the kid thought to himself, “I can’t be a punk in front of my friends. I am going to take the ass woopin when I get home, but I at least would have seen a naked lady tonight!” Thinking he was in no immediate danger he replied “Mom, I will see you when I get home”, as this was being said the mother jumped all off her size 53 waist line self through the phone and gave the kid the ass woopin off his life on the sidewalk and proceed to tell him “When…I…say…to…come..home…I mean…Come HOME!”. She then stepped back through the phone and told the kid he better be home soon.

Now, both of these alternate theories, however possible, are less likely than my archenemey with giant thumbs attempting to dial my phone number and in the process destroying the phone and leaving me his calling card telling me he was back, after haben taken to the underground following my campaign to post numerous posters of his likeness around NYC in my attempt to stop him, or her.

I will leave the decision up to you, the reader, to make but I am going to keep my eyes peeled for Phoneiclease the Barbarian!

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    • mj
    • April 10th, 2009

    Can’t wait for the next phone booth story.

  1. HAHAHA that was pretty funny

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